Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
