So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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