never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she pinky promised me she was 18
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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