Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
