I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sorry about my life...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
