Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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