I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
