I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
