it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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