During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
