Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she smelled like a LAN party
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
