i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize