He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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