the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize