so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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