I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize