took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
