he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
