you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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