I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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