some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
