you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
