Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
