69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
