covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
