There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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