Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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