I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
