Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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