Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
