but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
