The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Operation Purity has been aborted
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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