You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
