Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
