Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
