3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
