Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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