Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
