the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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