from now on my penis is your penis
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
