I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
