i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
