like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
