you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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