Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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