my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
