hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
