so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
