i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
