I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
