East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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