She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
