i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
