well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
3pm strippers are depressing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize