I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
