you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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