Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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