i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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